My Calling
Every night, I sneak into my daughter's room to kiss and pray for her. I find her twisted into an unnatural position, with her stuffed animals neatly lined up at the bottom of her bed.
This scene perfectly sums up her personality. She is feisty and uncontrollable. But she is also thoughtful. She draws pictures for her sick friends, loves to give food and money to the homeless, and is continually handing me toys to give to other children. I love being a mom, I adore my daughter, and I love watching her grow into the person God is forming her to be.
But I’m not called to be a mother.
The Danger of Compromise
Recently, Robert Jeffries, the First Baptist Pastor of Dallas, said on Twitter, “The effort to impeach President (Donald Trump) is really an effort to impeach our own deeply held faith values.”
My immediate response was to roll my eyes and keep scrolling. Pridefully, I distance myself from “those evangelicals.” “Those evangelicals” include those who seem to hate all people or are more concerned with their 401 (K), political power, and other people’s sex life than the teachings of Jesus. Even my definition of “those evangelicals” drips with superiority – that is evidence of my sinful apathy.
Discipleship: Learning to Follow
God is also inviting us on a wild adventure that will transform us if we follow him.
I grew up in the church. I knew all about God, attended the right events, and could answer all the bible questions correctly. At sixteen, I realized that there was something different between my Christian friends and me. When I asked, a friend hypothesized that I needed to “give my life to Christ.” I copied her in saying a prayer. But nothing happened.
My life was the same. I still faked religion. I gave an hour on Sunday to attend a Bible Study. But the rest of my life looked exactly the same.
Are Some Complementarian Practices Gaslighting?
In our diverse church, we have a plethora of theologies. Distinctives help us see different aspects of God and different interpretations of Scripture. But what do we do when the practice of certain beliefs harms members of the church? How do we deal with the fact that some churches take theological stances that gaslight women?
Invited to Listen
While reading “On White Women, their Refusal to Say Excuse Me” & Other Shared Reminders of Black Womanhood” my skin bristled. I started to think through every interaction I have had with black women in public. Every word made me want to say, wait, not me!
That same day, I saw Andre Henry’s tweet about Relevant. Over the week, as I read the tweets and blog posts online about how Relevant treated people of color, I wanted to tweet, yes, but not here! I’m not one of those Evangelicals.
Liturgy: A Reminder That It Is Always About God
Recently, my husband and I were looking for a new church. We both had lists of what we wanted in worship. But as we visited different churches, all of which are a beautiful representation of the body of Christ, we realized, our souls deeply desired a service that pointed us towards Jesus, and for us, that meant a liturgical service.
Regardless of whether I was attending church in South Carolina, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Jordan, India, Dubai, or Georgia, the repetitive motions of the liturgical services have been a reminder that worship is about God.
Why I (as a white mom) Celebrate Juneteenth
On Wednesday morning, my little girl curled up next to me for our morning snuggle. I asked her, “Do you know what today is?”
“Cookie Friday!”
“Well no it’s actually, Wednesday. But do you know what Holiday it is?”
She asked, “Christmas?”
“No, it’s Juneteenth. Today we celebrate the end of slavery.”
Her little three-year-old eyes were so confused. “What is slavery?”
All Those Questions
I love to ask questions. I was in a class two years ago, where I asked so many questions the professor said I was making him work for his paycheck. I have questions about everything. Like a two-year-old, I approach most things with why?
I have actually made a few people cry by continuing to ask why.
My need to ask questions is to try and understand this world and to order it into a tidy box. The more I know about a subject, the more I want to know. My desire for answers to my random questions is why my bookshelves are littered with half-read books.
But the problem with asking so many questions, is I don’t always slow down for the answers.
The Tyranny of Productivity
I love goals. I love to create a project and go for it.
When I was training for a half marathon, checking off my mini goals as I stumbled towards the half gave me an immense amount of joy. But as I sit here in my Sabbatical, with my only goal to ponder and pray, I’ve begun to realize how much I rely on my ability to accomplish tasks to give me a sense of identity.
What I Learned From InterVarsity
Like many Southern families, my family was in church at least once a week. I attended a Christian camp during the summers. While my upbringing provided me an opportunity to know God, I did not fully know him until I joined a small group during my freshman year of InterVarsity.
It was in that small group that Jen, our leader, taught me to read Scripture in a way that the story came alive. Weekly, she would gather Meghan, Jane, Liz, and me together to look through the Bible. That semester gave me the foundation to know God. Through Scripture, I learned about God’s character. It was the stories of how he kept his promises that taught me I could rely on God.